The Feature Presentation (Part TWO)

The Yellow Park experience:

I've got to start writing these as they happen... My memory fades too fast :)

Okay, one afternoon last week, I had Emily and Benjamin (I think Leslie either had a meeting, or was working late at school), and I had the great idea that we should all go to the yellow park. I got Benjamin ready (forgot socks again, shhh, don't tell Leslie), and Emily got her shoes on. She hopped on her bike, I put her helmet on, and I sat Benjamin in the stroller. We were ready to go. We'd be to the park in no time, plenty of playtime, then back home before it got dark. Off we went!

Problems began before we even got out of the garage.. Benjamin appeared to be sitting at a 40 degree angle (the wrong way, his head was on the down-side of that angle...) and his head was turning slightly purple from all the blood rushing to his brain, and Emily needed the "two-finger-hold" technique I spoke about in an earlier post. I adjusted Benjamin, grabbed the bike, and started scooting down the driveway.

Now, those of you that know our driveway, it's not a steep hill, but it's got a slant to it, to be sure. And there's no curb in our neighborhood, just that "almost" curb that kills your car every time you leave your driveway. So at this point I realized that the stroller has an ever so slight tendency to veer off to the right, and Emily likes to turn her bike to the left. As Emily began her "Daddy can you hold me!?!?!?" cry as she realized I had released my hold on her bike, I noticed Benjamin had left my grip as well, and was throttling toward the street at what seemed like about 25 miles per hour. I sprinted off to grab Benjamin, and Emily started squealing out of control as her bike started plunging toward the street as well. I threw the brakes on the stroller, grabbed Emily's bike, and we all sat there in silence, panting, for about fifteen seconds.

We hadn't even made it off the driveway yet...

You can imagine the next 30 minutes or so. We went from the stroller racing to the right, me fighting Emily as she tried to pull her bike to the left, all the while making sure I had those TWO PRECIOUS FINGERS attached to her handlebars. Every time I'd lose my grip on her bike, she'd slam on the brakes and Benjamin and I would keep moving forward a few steps before she started demanding we return to replace my hold on the bike. At this point we're only down about a block, with six or so to go. And then came the hill. Oh, I'll spare you the details of that one, but one thing was certain at this point: I had COMPLETELY lost [my mind] my memory of how wonderful I felt knowing that Emily was slowly adapting to her bike just how she did swimming, and how proud of myself I was that I understood it, and could handle it so well. Yeah, that was completely gone, now there was just one... simple... goal: THE YELLOW PARK.

I reached critical mass about two blocks from the park. I grabbed Emily's bike by the throat, latched the other hand securely on the stroller, and kicked it into high gear. Emily felt the sudden change in tempo and spoke up, "Daddy, why are we going so fast?" I replied, calmly (I'd like to think that I held it together to maintain a calm demeanor - that's my story and I'm sticking to it..) "We're going to the park, and we're making it happen." I knew she didn't have a clue what that meant.. I didn't even know what it meant, but we were moving with a purpose, and it felt gooooood.

I can only imagine the look I had on my face as we powered down the middle of the road just a block or two away from the park. As if the situation could not get any worse, just then a large maroon suburban pulled into a driveway near us. As I glanced over, I could see a woman exiting the driver's side, and I could tell by the expression on her face she was thoroughly enjoying the show. As we neared her house, her grin became even larger as she yelled, "WHOAH, now there's some multitasking for you!" Of all the people, in all the world, I had to run into soccer-mom-joker.

The rest of the evening was a blur. I remember somehow getting to the park, Emily playing for a while, as I sat wheezing in the corner. To be honest, I can't even remember how we got home.

The Doctor visit:

We had come to Emily's 4 year visit, and Benjamin's 4 month visit. We knew there was a possibility of shots, but somewhere I was hoping it wasn't true. I know this one will come as a shocker, but I was wrong...

When we arrived, things went pretty well at first. We got back to the room, Emily seemed rather calm, she only tensed up a little when we tried to measure her height. As Benjamin was getting weighed, I remembered Emily's response, even at his age, when we tried to weigh her. She screamed and screamed as the nurse held her and placed her on the scale. Benjamin looked completely content. Emily: high maintenance, OCD, worries too much - my daughter. Benjamin: calm, laid back, enjoys almost everything - Leslie's son.

Anyway, when everybody got settled, we decided that Benjamin would go first, hopefully to ease some of the tension with Emily. He was silent through the entire exam, only laughing slightly as the doctor checked him out. Then Emily's turn. First she freaked out when we asked her to sit on the table, and then the best part...

She was yelling through most of the exam to begin with, then two things happened:

1. Her left ear didn't register on the hearing exam (you can imagine my response, both internally and externally...)

2. As the doctor was nearing her mouth to examine her throat, Emily grabbed her arm and pushed it away.

Now, the number one we can all deal with (at least, I hope everybody can). I knew it was just my over-OCD kicking into high gear, and it was nice to realize that I had the deaf one all wrong this whole time. Numero dos, however, now that was a different story. I was holding Emily in my lap at the time, but even with my reaction time, and as close as I was to Emily, as soon as I saw her grab the doctor's arm and I started moving my head down to scold her, I STILL didn't beat Leslie from moving across the room and into Emily's face. We weren't too pleased with her behavior on that one.

So, after all the drama had passed, the doctor pulled out about six pounds or so of "ear jam" (as we call it) and she passed her hearing screen. Now... prepare yourselves... it was time for shots.

Emily was first on this one, so without much waiting, I plopped her up on the table and grabbed her arms and upper body. The nurse had her legs and started unwrapping not one, not two, but FIVE shots for Emily. Lest we not forget my last shot experience when I passed out.. Emily was now up for FIVE. I've gotta hand it to the nurse, she whipped through those five shots with grace and accuracy in about ten seconds, but Emily didn't like it one bit.

Then it was Benjamin's turn. He ONLY had three shots. He giggled a little on the second.

And that concludes our feature presentation. Stay tuned for Andy Alligators, part deux!