I don't know if it hurts more, but it sure does hurt...

Last night Emily was taking her bath, and began whining. Not too much of a deal, we usually just have to ask her to stop once or twice and we move on. Well, she wasn't having any of that last night. So here came the consequence notification:

"Emily, if I have to ask you again, we'll have to get out of the bath and straight to bed tonight, without books or singing."

I sat there for just a few seconds praying she wouldn't.. but then.. she did. I had to "stick to the plan" at that point, there was no turning back. I bathed her quickly, and she already knew something was up, as she began asking me questions about what I was doing. I calmly told her we were washing, then we were getting out of the bath and going straight to bed.

"Why?"

I explained. At this point I was already questioning whether or not she really understood what was going on, but again, had to stick to it. Now, before I continue, and before some of you reading this start internalizing what an easy pushover, weak minded, over protective, not strict enough parent I am, I'll share with you again my perspective:

I still check on Emily throughout the night each night, just to make sure she's still breathing... and she's four years old. I worry about her, Leslie, and Benjamin about three seconds out of every five throughout each day, and I look forward more than anything else coming home to spend time with them every night. I was recently asked, "if there was one thing you could ask for and get... one wish that could be granted to you, what would it be?" I didn't have to think at all for an answer to that one, it was easy: To grow old with Leslie and watch my two kids grow up. I don't think these things or say these things just to be sappy, or gain "points," I truly believe them. One of the comments last night on the Olympics came from a mother who pointed out that once you have a child, you stop living for yourself and start living for somebody else. I cannot agree more with that statement, I feel it every moment of the day. So, that being said...

We got out of the tub, I dried her off quickly, and we headed to her room for bed. The usual routine for bed is this: I get her dressed for bed, brush her teeth (when we remember, but after the gum bleeding incident yesterday morning, we're going to HAVE to remember every night now...), she picks out a few books and heads for the bed, where I'm waiting to read to her. She hops up, and jumps on the bed for about 20 seconds, then jumps straight at me for me to catch her. She sits in my lap with her brown night night while we read. Then, I grab her with one arm, get out of bed, flip her over onto her pillow while saying something like, "OH.. MY.. GOODNESS, you are SO big, I don't know if I can lift you!!" and she giggles back at me (she always laughs at my jokes, another BIG plus in my book :) Then Leslie comes in, they say their prayers, sing, hug and kiss, and then I come back in. I give her a big hug, kiss, touch her finger while telling her I love her, tuck her in, head for the door, turn back around for one more kiss, hug, and "love you," then turn the lights out and leave.

Usually, about three minutes later, she comes out, smiles, and we put her back in her bed. There's never a moment of crying, whining, begging to stay up.. It's always very nice, and all smiles.

Well, last night we didn't get to do any of that. I got her dressed, brushed her teeth, put her in her bed, told her calmly, but sternly, "Emily, do not get up tonight." She didn't complain or argue, just silently nodded her head. I had to hug her quickly to keep from breaking down just from that (remember my perspective before you judge again :) and quickly left the room.

She didn't make a peep, didn't come out, and I sat in my bed feeling like dirt for almost an hour. Then I heard the typical whisper for me through the monitor: "Daddy, daddy.... daddy" (always in threes). I went into her room, walked up to her, she looked up at me and asked quietly, "are you happy with me?"

Now I was at a crossroads:

1. Start weeping immediately - this probably wouldn't benefit the overall goal, however difficult it may be to keep from losing it..
2. Stay strong and stern - stick to the message, probably a good option.. I mean, all of the other stuff would go out the window if I wasn't, right?
3. Gentle approach - Could be..

I went with: "Emily, I'm sad that you chose to whine again, and not do what I was asking you to do (clean her 'letters' up from the water before we washed), so you need to go to bed." Again, no response, just a nod... UUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH.

I went and pouted some more in my bed, then couldn't take it. I walked back into her room, layed down beside her, and held her as tight as I could. She turned to me and smiled. I smiled back. Neither of us said a word, we just sat there and smiled at each other. I told her I loved her, and left the room. That four year old showed more maturity during that entire experience than I've seen most adults.

So there you have it, my evening. I'm just glad that's the last time we'll ever have an issue with her not listening to me :)