Bat Boy Liesenfeld

And that's not Batman's sidekick, either.. So today was the first day I tried to play softball with the league Brian asked me to play on. When he asked me the first time, I told him, "okay, so I've never played softball before, in fact, I don't think I've ever even watched it.."

"Aaah, we're just in it for a good time, you'll fit right in."

I was wary to begin with, but why not? Sounds like they're all in it, "just for the fun." uh huh, I should have known better.

Anyway, Leslie took Emily to bible school tonight, which runs for about a week. She showed up at my game and didn't look to good, she was worried about Emily, but needed to leave because she was the only mom there. Emily, of course, didn't want her to leave, but did fine after she left and got settled with her friends. One of her teachers for next year was there, so that helped, too. They played outside, in the water table, listened to stories, and had jello (green) and water.

Anyway, Jerry is on the team I was invited to play on, but he was on his way to China, so wasn't going to be there tonight. I called him while he was waiting in Los Angeles for his next flight to find out where I was supposed to go. Before I get there, though, let me go back a week when Jerry found out I was going to play with the team, and what he told me (after he stopped laughing uncontrollably for about ten minutes...)

"Okay, so if you're going to play, here are the things to keep in mind. 1. While you're in the outfield, ALWAYS take your first step back. 2. Always keep the ball in front of you. and 3. Always hit your cutoff man."

Well, I understood numbers 1 and 2, although I didn't have a clue what the meant, but I didn't appreciate him talking spanish on the last number, he should know I don't know other languages. So, of course, I asked him what all of that meant.. He told me:

"Okay, every instinct is going to be to try to run TOWARD the ball when you see it fly up in the air. Don't do it. It always goes farther than you think, so take your first step back, ALWAYS. Then, make sure you always keep the ball in front of you, meaning, run back fast. The third one means that there will be somebody between you and the base you are trying to throw it to, so always throw to that guy."

Simple enough, but then I asked, "why all these rules if all we're doing is having a good time?" (I should have caught that clue when he started rattling off rules, but then again, that is Jerry) "Aah," he said, "It's just good to know simple stuff like that." Simple? If you say so...

Okay, back to today, with me on the phone with him at LAX. He tells me where the team is: "look for the old guys who are just hanging out." Got it. That was easy. I walked up and found Brian and Kevin, and introduced myself to everybody else. I told them I had to borrow a glove from a friend, because I've never had one IN MY LIFE, and that my friend's wife practiced with me for a bit with a tennis ball (softball was too hard to practice with, she didn't want to hurt me I guess...). When I told them that, they said, "oh, so you're warmed up already.. This is our warmup" as they sipped their drinks :) So far, so good.

So, game time. As I watch the other team warm up, reality starts sinking in. Wow, they're throwing that SOFTball really hard at each other, and running rather quickly.. Oh, and, yeah, they are all like 19 years old and just came from the "300 Movie Iron Man Workout" Gym or something.. Not good. Then somebody says to me, "Pete, let's warm up..."

Warm up? I thought that was the lifting of the drink to your face earlier??? Guess not, so the pitcher starts throwing the ball to me. I do one of those duck-and-cover-for-your-life moves every time he throws it at me, while I raise my hand with my glove on it as high as I can and hope that the ball comes near it. I hear chuckles, but what do I care? I like my head on my body..

So, the game starts, and thankfully we have TOO many players there that night, so all I have to do is bat. I sit in the dugout through most of the game, but I notice something very strange as we begin... Suddenly the team I'm with starts talking Spanish like Jerry did, and they're getting pretty mad when things go wrong... Mad? What happened to lets have a good time? When did this become Major League? Oops, my time to bat. Which reminds me, Jerry didn't give me any rules on that one; for that matter, nobody told me ANYTHING about this part...

So, I walk up to the plate with the bat, look at the umpire, and say, "So, do I just stand here?" Whoah, interesting look from the catcher at that point. Yeah yeah kid, get off my lawn, daddy's here to play and just wants to know how the heck to hold the bat, and where to stand.. "Anywhere you want," replies the umpire. Great, that helped. Ooooh, and here comes the ball. "Strike."

Okay, looks like it's time to try swinging. Fortunately, these balls seem to be coming pretty slow, oops here it comes.. And I hit it! I run like crazy to first, and need to make sure that my foot stays on the bag, so I start slowing down, "Out."

My first base coach (and later, EVERYBODY ELSE, and later when I call Jerry, him too) tells me that I don't have to slow down when I run to first. Thanks, that was good news to know BEFORE I WENT TO BAT.. Anyway, to sum up the rest, every time I was up to bat, I at least hit the ball. I made it to first two or three times, never more than that. One of the last times, I heard some heckling from the dugout as I got out, "Hey, don't you run every day? We figured you'd be a little faster."

"Well, I run 10 miles a day, not 50 feet."

"60 feet! That must be why you keep slowing down! har har har, yuck yuck yuck!!!"

For a brief time, Leslie, mom, Randy, and Benjamin came and watched. The wanted to know why I was the ONLY one left in the dugout when everybody else went out to play. I told them I had to warm the bats :)

So, it was great, and I can't wait to do it again. I learned all sorts of stuff tonight, so I should be a little better next week. If nothing else, it will give the other guys something to laugh at for a while.

In other news, Emily's been busy swimming. She now swims all by herself with the floaties, and even jumps off the diving board with me helping! We're still working on the face in the water thing, but one thing at a time :)

And, the "pact" starts tomorrow, folks, so get ready. Nobody else responded to my last comment, so I'm assuming we're on for that plan.